Tag Archives: how to be yourself

You Were Meant to Soar

you were made to soar

Being honest and upfront takes practice — at least for me it does. I often have to work at allowing my feelings to be expressed and out in the open — but also, saying (or writing) it in a way that is clear and helpful for other people. This way, everyone benefits. With practice, we both get deeper, stronger, more authentic and more courageous in our lives. It often leads to a greater sense of peace, well-being and lightness. A feeling of being free.

This week I had a few blog readers contact me directly asking for more details on the last two blog posts I wrote. (Like I said, I need practice.) I actually love when readers email me and ask me to explain things further (or better). The request doesn’t bother me at all. I find it very helpful and encouraging. (The same goes for when people email me and notify me of typos I have in my blog posts. I always appreciate it when people do that. Please tell me when you see obvious typos! It’s difficult for me to catch them.)

Okay, two quick things to address. Actually, make that three.

1. What did I mean by “super-powers” in my Andy Kehoe: The Edge of the Unknown blog post?

Instead of super-powers, think along the lines of dormant potential — very dormant. It’s the sort of thing we see someone do and it either inspires us immensely, or turns our world upside down (we stand there scratching our heads in disbelief).

While traveling around the world I saw and experienced first hand things that made me question what is considered factual or normal in the USA. If you are a reader that was thinking black magic and broomsticks as you were reading my blog post in question, I didn’t mean that — unless that inspires you or turns your world upside down. I was thinking more along the lines of a woman that lifts a car to save her trapped baby, or something (less dramatic) that you would not expect from a ‘typical’ human being — simply because you usually don’t see it being done, not because it isn’t possible.

2. Did my If you had 3 more… blog post insinuate that I was unhappy in Oregon or unfulfilled in my work?

This is an excerpt of an email reply I sent to someone regarding a similar question:
“Oregon is great! I really love it! It was a fantastic decision for me. I’m really happy with all that I have here, and I am making friends little by little (since I moved here not knowing anyone). The people are great, the weather is great, the town is gorgeous — I have no complaints! Oregon (and life) is also showing me that I need to be more brave, and follow what scares me and lights me up. I feel some changes coming on (in work and possibly romance), but I’m not sure what they are yet. I know I would like to do something health & food related, but I would need to figure out how to balance it (and start it) between the two shops I have running now. I love my two Etsy shops! And my favorite part of the work is connecting with the customers. But, I feel that jewelry & beads can only reach so many people (and can only be so satisfying or challenging). I feel like I could/should be connecting more and learning more, and having an impact on more lives — this can/could happen if my work was a product or service that more people resonated with. (Most of the people I currently know could care less about beads!) So I’m trying to figure it out and slowly make a transition.”

3. Did I ever see the guy I mentioned in my Romantic Sparks vs. Life Goals blog post again?

No, I never saw him again. I saw his car parked on the street maybe once, or twice at most. I have not bumped into him downtown, nor in the neighborhood. I actually don’t think he is a local, and was probably visiting someone here or working here on a project. The town I live in is pretty small, most of the people I know I see them around. It’s easy to bump into each other and cross paths.

As a side note: I’m not looking for the guy I saw in that blog post! I’ve totally dropped and forgotten about it. (Until someone asks me about it.) I’ve moved on completely.

I want to address the second question again, it was a really good one. It stuck with me this week. It really got me thinking and brainstorming. Over the last few days, I gained a lot of clarity about what I would like to do next and why I’m not gung-ho passionate about what I’ve been doing daily. Both the question and the brainstorming reminded me of a blog post I wrote in 2011 titled, FOCUS on what you love: it’s important. In a nutshell, the blog post is about focusing on what you love, and doing virtually nothing else. It’s about setting your priorities straight and getting super-organized. It encourages you to be very bold and honest in how you choose to spend your time. In that post I wrote that my four priorities are; Blogging, Exercising, Meditating, Studying. Those priorities should be in complete alignment with what I love to do most, which is; Creating, Dancing, Being, Reading. When I wrote that blog post, my priorities and my ‘love to do’s were in complete alignment — totally in sync! But over the last few years my life changed dramatically. With all of the moving and changes I’ve been through since leaving New York City — meditating, dancing, reading and creating dropped off the radar. Not dancing/exercising vigorously is a huge missing for me. So is not taking the time to read or meditate daily, or challenge myself creatively.

This week I started dancing again and it felt amazing. It felt so right! Like someone unlocked a door to a cage. I was no longer holding my breath or breathing shallowly. I was able to open up and fly, spread my wings and let go. I also started to seriously brainstorm my next creative project, getting complete ideas on paper. My plan is to also get on track with a reading and meditation schedule.

As I was thinking of all of the things I love, the things that light me up and set me free — a Sia video came to mind. The song and video expresses the kind of energy I feel that I need to release and stay open to. This energy needs to be released and expressed as an ongoing practice and priority for me. The reason it’s so important, is because sometimes I find myself feeling like I’m in a box, and I wonder how I got there. Often it takes a weekly or daily practice to keep myself out of that box. I know I’m not alone in this. We all want to get out of the assimilation factory line that our society often prefers we stay in. (We’ve been trained since infancy to think we need and should be living within certain stifling concepts.) For me, a liberating practice and reminder of my potential, is dancing and blogging, meditating and creating. For you it might be completely different. Whatever it is, I think it’s best we be clear about what lights us up and sets us free — and we need to stay at it. We have to keep the ball rolling and boldly claim our right to be it and do it. It needs to be priority.

Don’t forget what makes you feel whole, don’t forget what makes you come alive. Life is meant to be lived. Bravely, boldly, in an adventurous spirit. You were meant to soar. I was too. Life is best when we can soar together.

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Filed under inspriation, power & courage

Tell the Truth, Tell the Truth

tell the truth

This year the words ‘tell the truth’ have been rolling like waves in my head. Not because I’ve been lying, or have been hiding something, but because I’ve come to a breaking point. My desire after 40 years of life, is not to be brutally honest, but to live compassionately with integrity. Living & feeling compassion first for myself, and then seeing myself in others. It’s interesting that the word Integrity means to be honest, but it also means to be whole, undivided.

Two quotes come to mind. (Wait, I’ll share them in a moment.) Often ideas feel abstract in my mind, but sharing them along with other artists’ work somehow helps to paint a clearer picture (not only for others, but for myself), because it allows me to create a context. I don’t like when my thoughts seem obtuse or isolated. I like them to feel like they are part of a conversation, a universal one, that might not be getting the attention that it deserves.

So quickly, before I share the work of others, I just want to say that telling the truth, for me, simply means to stop f*cking around. I’m getting too old to waste time. I’m getting too old to act like I’m not seeing what is looking me dead in the face. And the words ‘too old’ are not implying that 40 years of age is old. It means, that I have lived enough to know when life is being wasted. It means that I know the difference between an authentic conversation and a superficial one. It means I know the difference between falling asleep with the feeling of ‘Is this all there is?’, versus the feeling of falling asleep with my heart wide open, eager to see what tomorrow brings.

This feeling of wanting to be more authentic and open has been bubbling since I was a child, but only in the last decade has it come to a boiling point. I guess I’ve reached a point where I feel like the only life worth living is the one I have, and it’s only worth living if I make it my own. Making it my own, means to be an honest expression of the life force that I am. The very thing that was born of the unknown cosmos, manifesting through a, seemingly knowable, human form.

I’ll stop there. Today’s post is really only a feeling. I’m just sharing a feeling.

Here are a few quotes that I think will provide a greater context of that feeling for you.

“This is not the country we pretend it is. This is a country that turns on the TV everyday, and goes to the movies everyday, and listens to the radio everyday, and receives a delusion about itself. […] There is no space for contemplation. If full grown adults can’t muster the time to sit still for 2 hours, how are the greatest market sectors of these corporations going to be able to resist?.. […] The thing is, that, there are trillions of dollars, trying to capture people’s imaginary and move them away from any contemplative life, from any life of deliberation, from any human rhythm. […] We need time to deliberate, contemplate and feel human. I don’t think you can reconstruct and reconstitute yourself, everyday, without that time. And part of the reason our souls feel so heavy, and so frantic, is because we don’t get the deliberation and contemplation, that can reconstitute ourselves after a day in a society that only encourages you to compete, create hierarchies and accumulate.” -J.D.

The written quote I transcribed from a Junot Diaz Q&A, at the Chicago Humanities Festival. And the video contains several quotes that I would like to transcribe, but don’t have time to. So I’m sharing the entire video of David Foster Wallace giving his commencement speech.


Filed under being yourself, great qoutes, videos

What is Being Yourself?

being yourself be you

[Today’s blog post is an excerpt from a blog post I wrote in February 2012.]

Being you is beautiful. It’s when you don’t need to do anything, or be anything. It’s when you just know without question. It’s when you follow your feet, and your feet follow your heart (and your mind just tags along for the ride). It’s when you trust that you are supported. It’s when you feel so much love, that you can’t believe that much love is possible! It’s when you wake up in the morning free & empowered & relaxed. It’s when you are free to be! To put it simply; your beingness (not your doingness) is you being you. The way you love unconditionally is you being you. When you are silent and at peace, this is you being you. Those moments of freedom, simplicity and bliss are all you.

You might ask: “But what about when I’m enraged or angry, this is also me! Isn’t the me that isn’t at peace, or isn’t being love, or isn’t oneness or awareness me as well? What about when I am depressed & I am suddenly able to create great works of art, this is also me! What about when I have lost a loved one & I am in tears, this is also me! What about after I’ve been taken advantage of and I’m full of anger & resentment & fear, this is also me!” — No, that is you under the influence. I don’t argue that those are also beautiful states of humanness filled with emotion. I don’t argue that the contrast of those feelings or experiences bring a richness and a texture to life. I don’t argue that the contrast between painful experiences and enjoyable experiences lead us to a greater appreciation. I don’t argue that the terrible experiences in our lives make us stronger and (hopefully) wiser. I don’t argue this one bit. I’m in full agreement with you. But where I draw the line is by seeing that and telling you that, these are not pure states.

When I say they are not pure, I mean they are forced by outside influences. They were not created out of thin air, something brought them on, and that something was outside of you. The states that I talked about previously, when I described what it’s like to be you truly being yourself, those examples are of you in all of your pureness & wholeness, without anything extra. Without the influence of anything or anyone. — Example: When was the last time you were completely enraged for no reason? When was the last time you felt cheated by nothing? Yet I can come up with numerous examples of when I smiled or even laughed for no reason at all. — Do you understand the difference? Truly being yourself is unconditioned, while not being yourself is.

Everyday I get some sort of impression of someone who is suffering. It can either be from the media, or on the street, or from a friend or family member. The one thing they all have in common is that they are suffering over things that aren’t within them. They are suffering over things that have nothing to do with who they truly are. And they continue to carry these pangs or these burdens as if they have to — & they don’t! Just as simply as they picked them up, they can let them go. But, only if they can see that they are holding on to something that isn’t real.


Filed under how to, oneness & beingness, unlearning