Tag Archives: getting unstuck

Are you turned on?

are you turned on

A few years ago, actually more than a few (it’s a decade, to be exact) — I wondered why the lights went out. I wondered why my desires disappeared. Why I suddenly found myself disinterested in everything. Absolutely everything. This included the people in my life, the city I lived in, the work I was so passionate about since my youth, all of my possessions, my diet & fitness, my past, my present & future — everything. I thought it was due to my extensive practice of meditation at the time, or to my fasting on water, or to the never-ending rat race I found myself in, or to the destruction of planet earth (I was going to say our planet, but it’s not ours) and the eco-awakening that is taking place. I don’t know exactly what sparked my disinterest in being a “human doing”, like most other humans (very-very few of us embrace or fully live “human being”.) But everything just stopped. Actually, it only stopped internally, because the external goes on. Bills still arrive, rent is still due, friends still call, work is still required — everything is in motion, the carousel continues to rotate on its axis. Whether we like it or not.

Of course this was extremely difficult for me, because it had me standing between two worlds; the world of stillness & silence imbued with disinterest & dispassion, and the seemingly opposing world of social structures & ongoing desires. I think if I could have been one side or the other, it would have been fine. But feeling wedged & conflicted between the two didn’t work at all, and it became increasingly frustrating and unlivable.

The interesting & wonderful thing is, I learned a lot and I got myself un-wedged (just recently). It’s kind of like the butterfly in the chrysalis; you have to literally become mush. You MUST surrender and face your fears, and be willing to end your life as you know it. <– Please re-read that sentence, and let it sink in. You have to fully live it out, embracing the entire experience and all it encompasses. You have to love both sides: the light & the dark (that does not mean good vs. bad or evil, it simply means contrasting perspectives).

If you want more information on surrender, you can find it here:

I'll just say that surrender really is unconditional love. And love is a form of appreciation. So think of it as unconditional & ongoing appreciation. Being thankful, being open, being patient and being loving — no matter what the situation is, no matter what feeling or moment you find yourself in.

Everything can be considered a blessing if the lesson/gift is realized. The lesson/gift could be to leave and get out. It could be to stay and continue on. It could be to completely destroy and create something new. It could be to let go and give up. It could be to see with new eyes and listen with new ears. Whatever it is, it's a gift that was born through pain. And like a muscle, pushing through the weight & resistance makes us bigger & stronger.

If you want more information on facing challenges, you can find it here:

So if you ever find yourself in a situation like mine, or in some sort of stuck-ness, or feeling like you're "not here or there" — this is what I recommend:

You have to get turned on. I know that sounds silly, but trust me.

You have to plug in. Get energized. Light up. Activate. You have to literally turn yourself ON.

You have to get your POWER moving through you. This happens through connection and circulation, giving and receiving of energy, from being moved and inspired.

Now let's get practical. What does that look like? How does one do that?

Think of it this way, you are in a relationship with life itself (as well as in a relationship with yourself, your life happens through your senses/mind). This is your primary relationship. Your relationships with others (family/friends/lovers/children/pets) are secondary to this.

So if you were to go on a romantic date with Life, or make Life your life partner — there has to be an attraction first, right?

Sometimes we fall out of love with places or people. This is normal. But go back to the very beginning. How and why did you initially fall in-love?

How did you fall into deep appreciation for this place or person?

What turned you on? Literally.

And how open were you at the time? Were you open for new experiences?

Get clear on this. What turns you on?

Get as general as you can. Then get super-specific after that.

For most people it's the following:


Okay… now use that list to your advantage.

What is currently attractive in your life or in the world? What is beautiful or gorgeous?

What are you secretly afraid of? What excites you and makes you nervous?

What feels unknown in a big way to you? What feels uncertain or challenging?

What positive feelings come up for something in particular? What makes you appreciate it?

What makes you feel good when you focus on it? What do you love giving your attention to?

Go into your belly. What gives you butterflies?

What gives you energy?

What do you love?

Now laser focus in on whatever your "I'm turned on by…" answers are. Surround yourself in thoughts about it. Do this daily. All day, ongoing. (Like when you are in-love and couldn't stop thinking about someone.)

And if there is something scary or nerve-racking to face (and I hope there is!), I want you to face it head on. I want you to drive yourself right through it. Pretend you don't see it. Just plow right through. Meaning, fully experience how alive you can feel when you face something you rather dodge from.

If you can do this, and if you can keep these feelings & focus going… I promise you, you will be turned on and you will come alive with newfound enthusiasm.

Here are examples of what it means to be turned on by life (in your mind), no matter what situation you find yourself in:



Filed under challenge yourself

every path you take leads to a dead end

All paths lead to nowhere (now-here). So you might as well skip the plan, & just get present.

I was looking at a diagram with a friend this morning. It’s one of those charts that show you different paths, depending on what choice you make. As he examined it he said, “This is pointless! Every path you take leads to a dead end! What’s the use!” When I heard that, something clicked. I laughed inside. I heard the truth & the wisdom. It made me smile to hear how every path that we think will lead us somewhere — brings us right back to ourselves.

I need peace,
I need children,
I need money,
I need property,
I need space,
I need accomplishment,
I need success,
I need creativity,
I need sex,
I need love,
I need freedom,
I need education,
I need friendship,
I need career,
I need protection,
I need expression,
I need rights,
I need balance,
I need security,
I need religion,
I need opportunity,
I need equality,
I need partnership,
I need family,
I need health,
I need answers,
I need individuality,
I need truth,
I need unity,
I need simplicity,
I need comfort,
I need luxury,
I need silence,
I need understanding,
I need help,
I need companionship,
I need solitude,
I need forgiveness,
I need romance,
I need independence,
I need support,
I need acceptance,
I need travel,
I need work,
I need solutions,
I need nature,
I need attention,
I need beauty,
I need respect,
I need allies,
I need nothing.

Pick any one of those that rings true for you, & ask yourself what you think it will ultimately give you. In what way will it be the answer? How will it complete you? Will it end the search? The constant need to want, like, or need something — will it finally be over?

And really be clear. Do you think fighting against something will give you what you want? Do you think you will be happy? What about striving for something? Or working for something? Will that do it? Will you be complete then? How about creating something? Will it end there? What about not wanting anything? Will that finally finish the job? What will it take for you to feel like you are whole & complete & content — like there is no path to take that would be better than the present moment?

Where are you in all of this? And why is it that you need so much to feel like everything is OK? What is it about you that isn’t working for you? Why are you never enough? Maybe the problem is you?

For me, when I get stuck on the “you” problem (a.k.a. the “me” problem). I can usually trace it to three things (actually, just one, one will do the trick). All three things lead to suffering. And all three things are just confusion in my opinion. Confused thinking.

Bring any problem you have to mind. Trace it down to its roots. Go really really deep. Don’t cut yourself short. Dig down deep. What’s down there? Really look at it. Expose it. Give it a good face-to-face look. Is it fear? You betcha. So the problem you think you have — that you needed something to solve — really isn’t the problem, is it?

I can pretty much take any problem, any source of suffering, & catch myself dwelling on the past, or in the future. If I take myself out of those places (that don’t exist!), & I get fully present to what is happening ONLY in the present moment — if I can do that, then I am fine. And I don’t mean the current moment somewhere else. I mean right now, right here — with the one that was lost in past/future based thinking. If I just get still. If I stop & just feel what it feels like to be in the present moment fully — I will see that the suffering is unjustified.
The next time you are frustrated, or angry, or jealous, or stressed, or lonely, or discontent — the next time you are suffering in any way — ask yourself where you are. Where are you mentally? I bet you aren’t present to the gift that is now. This moment, in all it has to offer.

Ahhh… back to the “me” & “you” problem. :) Don’t cha just love it! It’s everywhere. Look over your day. Look throughout your life. Look all over the world! Don’t you see it? It’s like a disease that everyone is suffering from. There is a Zen quote that I really love, it’s “No Self, No Problem.” That quote is one of the most profound quotes I know. (And if you have ever seen my Facebook or Twitter pages, you know I am a quote magnet. So if I say this one is tops, I mean it!) Everything is integral in my opinion. Just like it is becoming more obvious that we are all part of one world (no country is separate), because the planet earth is showing us that (e.g., destroy the rainforests, and everyone everywhere feels the impact). When you believe that every person, every living being, isn’t moving as one, from a common source, totally & infinitely connected — you will feel it. And it isn’t a good feeling. It’s called suffering.

All three of these things, these roots of suffering, or feelings of incompleteness, all of them can instantly disappear.

On Thursday evening I was bent out of shape, not in a good head space. That night I couldn’t sleep. I felt terrible. The next morning I received an email from someone. They reassured me that there isn’t a problem. Everything will be taken care of. All is well. After that, I was light as a cloud & had the most amazing day! How is this possible? I asked myself, “Aimee, what happened between last night & this morning? How can you go from distraught to bliss? Nothing happened, but a few brief words from another person! Nothing physically changed — just a few words were read!” I thought about it & I realized that I could trace the distraught feeling to all the roots of suffering I mentioned above. And the person that reassured me in their email, addressed each one of the three roots: There is nothing to fear; This won’t happen in the future; We share the same goal. –And whalla! I was back to bliss! But what I should have realized is, that I don’t need that to come from outside of me. Not from any person or circumstance. It was there all along.

Try it for yourself. Just notice. Hold up your wants. See if they can solve your problems once & for all, or make you feel totally complete & whole. Then, hold up your problems. See if you can trace them back to a feeling of fear; past or future based thinking; or an idea that you are a separate individual. Have fun with it. Have fun digging & checking out the roots. Dig deep. Get your hands dirty. Everyone is in the mud. But everyone doesn’t have to be stuck.

Take a good look at what paths you want to take to get you somewhere, that isn’t already here. Check to see if it leads you to a dead end (right back to you). Or just give up the search, & find what you have always been looking for — right here, right now — in this moment — just as it is. See that it is already perfect, already complete. Stop & settle into it, fully feel & embrace it. Feel how it feels to love fearlessly.


Filed under awareness, peace & bliss