Category Archives: self love

Deserving of Tenderness

elizabeth_gilbert

Photo and quote by Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love

“A friend sent me this photo the other day…I believe this was taken around 2001, when I was about 32 years old. I know that I was in the middle of my divorce. I know that I was incredibly depressed. I know that I was very thin. I know that I was scared to death, and felt like my life was going to be depression and anxiety forever. I look at this picture now, and all I see is an innocent baby, who just needed to be loved, and to be kind to herself. But when I looked in the mirror back then, all I saw was a guilty failure. Back in the day, I was mercilessly cruel to the dear little person in this photograph. I blamed her for everything. I told her she was a loser, a cheater, a liar, selfish, a fuck-up, and OLD. Old enough to know better! And too old to ever be loved again! How had she made such a wreckage of her life! She deserved every punishment! That’s truly what I believed. But Dear Ones: LOOK AT HER. She was just a kid, overwhelmed and doing her best. And she still is just a kid (overwhelmed and doing her best) at 50. And so are you. If I live to be 100, I will probably die feeling like I’m just a kid who is overwhelmed and doing her best — and I’ll probably be just as innocent as the young woman in this photo. Why can we never see our innocence in the moment of our disasters? My prayer for all of us today is that we show ourselves some tenderness. Whatever you’re going through, you are deserving of so much love and care. Take it easy on yourselves out there, kids. You are, in the eyes of a loving universe, such a small and precious thing. Be very, very gentle with you. You are worth EVERYTHING. Onward. ❤️LG”

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Meeting Like Minds

I love books. You know why? Because I don’t always meet people that think like me, but with the millions of books out there, I find many. I read books for confirmation, inspiration and information. This week I read a book for confirmation. I always feel so lucky when I find an author who can articulate my thoughts better than I can. It makes me feel not-so-crazy. Or at least, that they are as crazy as me. In any case, it makes me feel better.

The book I read this week was, Ramtha: The White Book. I enjoyed every minute of it. I will list a few quotes. There were many that resonated with me, but I only posted the ones that suit this blog entry well.

One thing I wanted to point out and was happy to discover, was the author’s frequent use of the phrase Self Love. Whenever I mention ‘self love’ in conversations, people often assume I mean it in a narcissistic way. Many people don’t quite ‘get it’ like I’m saying it. I mean it in its highest sense. Your life, your world, exists through you only. No one else. When you eat, when you love, when you work, when you sleep, when you think, it’s all about you! Others are your mirrors. If you can see that everyone is you, and that you are responsible for your life, and your contribution to the world — everything opens up. The world (your world) becomes limitless. The more in touch you are with you, the more in touch you will be with others. The more love you have for yourself, the more love you will have for those around you. Does that make sense?

I talk about this all the time because it is the way that I found happiness. After years of depression, I began to realize that it grew out of self hate. The more I hated myself, the more I hated life. I saw life as a burden and a struggle. My life was based on doing what I had to, and waiting to see what happens to me next (instead of creating what happens next). I felt like I didn’t have a choice. Now my life is based on enjoying every minute and everyone. This slowly started to develop out of self love. The more I loved myself, the more love I saw in the world. My life is now my choice, it feels limitless, and I feel blessed to be here. I also feel very lucky to be able to share it with others. That powerful lifesaving transformation happened out of self love. When I say ‘self love’, that’s the kind of love of self I am referring to.

Below are a few goodies (selected quotes) from the book. I hope they resonate with you too!

“Only you can be your greatest lover.”

“You cannot truly see or be aware of the beauty of all life or express the depths of love and compassion for others until you have first seen your own sublime beauty and expressed love and compassion for yourself.”

“You are the life that you perceive to be outside of you.”

“You alone are your greatest teacher, for only you know what is the best of all things for you.”

“No one can teach you of your God Self; they can teach you only of theirs.”

“There is no greater love in life than the love of self. There is no greater love, for it is from that embrace of self that freedom exists. And it is from that freedom that joy is born.”

“You possess within you the power to know and to be all things.”

“You are wholly responsible for your own beauty, your own being, your own sorrowful or wonderful life.”

“You are the only one who loves you steadfastly enough to go through the things you have gone through.”

Today’s blog post was written & published almost 5 years ago in 2010. I thought it would be a nice post to revisit, so I re-published it. I also want to say that the very cool illustration is by Jessica of Vol.25

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Man in the Mirror

michael-jackson-1

Thinking about Michael Jackson’s death and life is bringing me closer to my own. I can’t help but think how much he hated himself. The plastic surgeries do not in my opinion come from a place of self-love. I think all of us can relate to addictions and obsessions. Life is really interesting. If we made unconditional love our number one priority it could relieve us (and others) of so much suffering. Instead many of us focus on security (romantic relationships, money, homes, pets, clothing, appearance, careers, etc.) and other temporary illusions. I say illusions because they are not permanent, yet we take them so seriously. We put our sense of self in them as if we could own them or rely on them. You can take love with you wherever you go. You can also take it with you for the rest of your life and maybe beyond. Anything in form (people, money, things) will not last. There is no security in something that will not last. Unconditional love can last.

michael-jackson-young

If we focused on unconditional love as much as we do material things we would be filthy rich and gorgeous! Rich in love. Gorgeous in spirit. Wow, how wonderful does that sound? Looking at a picture of Michael as a boy and looking at his picture as an adult gives me such respect for him. How beautiful and strong he is in both pictures. Granted, the more recent (artist’s rendition) picture posted in this blog post is a little scary, maybe ‘different’ is a better word. I only say scary because he is so drastically different looking then his natural born self. But it is perfect. Perfect in whatever it needed to be at that time, and it is beautiful. I am working on loving where I am in various stages of my life. It’s hard. Sometimes I look at my old pictures or read my old writing and cringe. Did I look like that? Did I feel like that? Did I write that? Then I have to own it. I have to love it and say, “Yeah, I did that and now I’m doing something else.”

Who can say that being unconditionally loving towards yourself is easy? Who can say they don’t hide behind a mask? Who can say they take full responsibility for the way their life looks? Not many. So I definitely try not to judge him. I send him my love wherever he is. I thank him for being a loving reminder, and for leaving his art behind for us all to enjoy. I hope to do the same one day.

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