Category Archives: ask yourself

What Does it Feel Like?

Alms Offering to 10000 monks - Chiang Mai, 2013

From the CEO hustling to make more money, or the monk standing with his alms bowl — they all have something that they want. It doesn’t matter if it’s to save the world or buy a faster car — there is a desire.

The question “what do you want?” could be asked. We can learn a lot about a person by probing a little and getting to know what they are seeking. But a better question would be, “if you had what you wanted, how would it make you feel?”

Not that this is easy to do (I think it takes massive patience, awareness, practice and trust), but I totally believe that if you work on the desired feeling first, it can attract things/goals that match its likeness. Not only that, but it can truly satisfy the root of one’s desires in general.

If the CEO felt that money would bring him the feeling of security or confidence, if he made that the primary goal instead of money, and cultivated it and imbued it in every fiber of his being, if that harnessed trait was attractive, obvious and undeniable when interacting with him — I honestly think it would influence the amount of money he would earn/generate. He would attract great wealth with much more ease and grace. And if the monk felt unconditionally content and joyful, I think people would fill his alms bowl in appreciation of the feeling that he radiates. He would gracefully attract the abundance needed to sustain his life purpose, well-being and sense of joy.

This is a quote from a blog post I wrote a few years back: “I feel that it is important to get clear regarding the feelings you want (the intangibles) more so then the things you want. I don’t believe that we ever really want things (specific relationships, bodies, homes, etc.), I believe we want how these things make us feel. So why not get it down to what it really is? It’s a feeling.”

Just to be clear, I’m not saying it’s easy to be confident or feel secure when you desperately need money, or feel content or joyful when you are feeling hungry. I’m not saying that at all. But what I am saying is; if you aren’t clear about what you really want — and haven’t accepted that it’s not about that specific thing (or goal), that it’s really the feeling you are after — then you will never be satisfied. You will always carry an insatiable missing in your being and always be plagued by never ending goals.

If you find that this is something you are struggling with, let’s get your focus and target aimed at something that truly serves you.

Think about what it is that you want or need, or crave. How would you feel if you had it? What emotion does it bring you? How does it light you up? What does it feel like to be in that state? How does it balance you and make you whole?

Is it possible to create that feeling, knowing, energy, light or sense of balance within yourself without having that thing/goal?

Is it possible that you could you do both? Could you work towards the feeling and the thing/goal? Could you make the feeling your primary focus? And the thing/goal a secondary desire?

Can you live the feeling you desire fully and intergrate it into your everyday life and way of being? And in time, with lots of practice, see all that it can do for you? It might bring some interesting things, people, resources, opportunities and experiences to you. I think it’s worth a try. (I’ll be working on it myself!)

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Time to Overestimate

viktor frankl overestimate

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No More Yes

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I snagged today’s blog post from Derek Sivers’ website. Originally a professional musician and circus clown, Derek Sivers created CD Baby in 1998. In 2008, Derek sold CD Baby for $22 million, giving the proceeds to a charitable trust for music education. He is a frequent speaker at the TED Conference, with over 5 million views of his talks.

No more yes. It’s either HELL YEAH! or no.

Those of you who often over-commit or feel too scattered may appreciate a new philosophy I’m trying: If I’m not saying “HELL YEAH!” about something, then I say no.

Meaning: When deciding whether to commit to something, if I feel anything less than, “Wow! That would be amazing! Absolutely! Hell yeah!” – then my answer is no.

When you say no to most things, you leave room in your life to really throw yourself completely into that rare thing that makes you say “HELL YEAH!”

We’re all busy. We’ve all taken on too much. Saying yes to less is the way out.

Examples:

I was hiring someone for a long-term project. There were many candidates. I compared pros-and-cons. Nobody blew me away, but I felt I had to choose one of them. Instead, I said no to all, and began the search again in a different way. That turned up someone absolutely amazing who is ideal and I’m psyched to be working with.

I was supposed to go to three music conferences in the next few months. They were spread out around the world and would have taken many expensive days in planes and hotels to be there. I had said yes to all of them out of habit or obligation. But I realized I wasn’t feeling “HELL YEAH!” about them, so I cancelled all three. They’re a little disappointed but I was able to clear off 12 days in my calendar! 12 days!! Do you know how much I can do with 12 free days? Maybe I could get Muckwork launched! Now that is a “HELL YEAH!”

I was deciding where to live. I had heard good things about Vancouver and Sydney. I was interested in Hong Kong and Florianópolis. But when I got to New York City I felt such an instant “HELL YEAH!” that I stayed.

9, 10 or 1

The surprisingly great book “Personal Development for Smart People” asks you to think about the different areas of your life (career, relationships, spiritual, health, etc.) – and rate your satisfaction in each area from 1 to 10.

But after doing that, the next suggestion impressed me: it said to go through every area you rated a 5, 6, 7, or 8 – and replace it with a 1! That we should never settle for “it’s not so bad” – and instead face up to what you really want.

In other words: No more “yes”. It’s either “HELL YEAH!” or “no”.

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Something Is Brewing – Part 2

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This blog post is the continuation of a previous post titled, Something Is Brewing.

Let me start by sharing a few facts…

What’s old news:
I got rid of almost everything I have owned/collected in my adult life.
I lost well over 20 pounds of excess body fat/body weight in the last year.
I no longer have the same phone number I’ve had since 1996. It’s gone forever.
I no longer live on the east coast (not in New York, and not in North Carolina either.)

The latest news:
I am starting a new business.
I am currently living on the west coast.
I am making Ashland, Oregon my new home and community.
I am clear that change & revelation is on the way, and this is only the beginning.

For years I wanted to get clear. I wanted to clear out old memories, old feelings and old patterns. I wanted to clear out all that wasn’t serving me well. I wanted to lighten up. I wanted a new perspective. I wanted to start again. I wanted to honor how I felt inside. I wanted my outside to match my inside. There was a revolution going on within. Changes happening, ideas brewing, new ways of being bubbling. But somehow I wasn’t clear enough to be the space for new things to manifest. I was waiting on other people. I was waiting on the right moment. I was waiting for change to be easy or self-evident. I was running. Running away from facing the music. That music was the song of my soul. Who I am when I am alone. How I really feel about people & places. What I really want out of life. I wasn’t ready to be honest. How could I be honest with others, if I couldn’t be honest with myself? I wasn’t ready to let go.

Life doesn’t wait. It lets you know when you are ready for change, not the other way around. It’s like death, or the metamorphosis of the butterfly. I’m always reminded that Life is boss — and there is no escaping when it’s your time. If you do not move, then you will be moved.

I often ask myself questions. These are four questions I recently asked myself:
What do I live for?
What lights me up?
What do I always do?
What do I cherish most?

Answering those questions shined a light on my current path. It’s so clear why I need to do what I am currently embarking on, and why my life had to change course.

What do I live for?
I absolutely live for my dog.
I live for (and because of) other people.
I live for (and because of) the mystery that is life.
I live for everyday lessons in beingness & awareness.

What lights me up?
Dancing to upbeat music lights me up.
Enjoying nature or natural things lights me up.
Being in the presence of unconditional love lights me up.
Spending time with positive & inspiring people lights me up.

What do I always do?
I always blog every Sunday.
I always seek & relish alone time.
I always work on creative projects.
I always prepare & eat healthy foods.

What do I cherish most?
I cherish my dog.
I cherish my health.
I cherish the opportunity to connect with others online.
I cherish being able to work for myself and set my own hours.

When the followers of Neem Karoli Baba (aka Maharaj-ji) asked him the way to enlightenment, he would tell them: “love everyone, feed people.” He would also tell them: “serve everyone, tell the truth.” This is the journey I am embarking on. Not a journey of enlightenment, but a journey of feeding people (figuratively and literally). I’m working to start a new business, centered around plant based foods (my dog’s image will be part of the business, she’s my muse). I’m also going to blog much more (on a separate blog). This new direction will allow me to feed people and share my truth — thus, serve everyone.

(“Love everyone” hasn’t been mentioned yet, because I’ve been doing it for years. That’s why I’ve had the nickname AimeeLovesYou for so long. It’s the driving force in all I do, and it’s what sparked this latest adventure.)

So that is the path I am on, and that is the latest news. As things begin to manifest and blossom, you will be along for the ride. Thanks for being there this far! :) Thanks so much for hanging in there with me. I really appreciate you, and I’m glad to share what will be in the works this year (starting with reigniting my Rainbow Farmer blog tomorrow). I’m nervous and excited about all the things I have brewing, and all the things to come. I’ve got butterflies, and butterflies are a good sign.

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