This blog post is not easy for me to write. If you are a regular reader of this blog you might be wondering what happened to me last week. In 8 years I have never missed writing a Sunday blog post. I’ve been late, very late, sometimes posting at night. But I’ve never not posted. Even while on vacation or traveling, I will tell you that there is no new post to read because I am on the road or in-flight. So as you can see I am very loyal to this blog and I take it seriously.
Last weekend I was in & out of the emergency room. My best friend was close to death and very ill. She is the love of my life and my daily sidekick (she goes everywhere with me and sits by my side as I work.) Many of you know her, her name is Pen-Pen (aka Pen, Penny, Penelope). She is a rescued senior dog with special needs that I adopted in 2014. She is the love of my life, and I can’t imagine living without her. This weekend was devastating for me. On Saturday she was in excruciating pain and I didn’t know why, and on Sunday she was peeing blood for the entire day. She’s tiny, a small chihuahua that could fit in a backpack. So seeing her in pain or knocking on death’s door was heartwrenching for me. I didn’t know how to help her — and I also didn’t have the money to.
Over a 5 day period $1,142.50 was spent on multiple vet bills and ER visits. Since I don’t use credit cards, this had to be paid in cash. I did not have this money on hand, I had to find a way to get it fast. I was clueless as to how to do that and answers appeared on their own. Pen-Pen and I were very lucky, two people that are close to me covered nearly the entire bill. I was extremely grateful for their help — but I don’t feel good about accepting it. It was so challenging and upsetting to be in a situation where I couldn’t take care of my own dog. It’s still upsetting, and it’s hard for me to share that feeling publicly.
I was wondering how I got myself into this situation. I know why I don’t use credit cards (you can read about why via this link.) But that is no excuse to not have a medical emergency savings account for Pen-Pen. And in addition to that, why was it so hard for me to share with my blog readers and community that I was in trouble and needed help? It was even difficult for me to accept money from two people that are extremely close to me. I didn’t want to need or ask for money, or even accept it — but I had to in order to save my dog’s life.
Why do I not feel worthy of the help that I received? And why was I not able to reach out to everyone that knows me (or my work) for help? It would have been a lot easier on everyone if fifty people donated $20 dollars each, than two people donating $500 dollars each. I would like to give those two super-loving & generous people their money back as soon as possible. They did it out of the kindness of their hearts, not because they had money falling out of their pockets. I want to make sure they are taken care of, just like they made sure that Pen-Pen was taken care of.
One thing that I realized over the very challenging week I experienced, is that I am not sharing myself enough. I am so clear on that. I need to do more and I need to be braver. I haven’t really put myself out there or shared the love & work I know I am capable of. And I am so sorry for that. I truly am. I know I have come a long way in my self-expression (because I have been shy since childhood), but I am still playing safe. And I can’t live with that feeling any longer. If I was truly living courageously and giving the world my all — I would either be rewarded for it financially, or would have no trouble at all asking my community for help. Because I would know in my heart that I have done my best to live for others. And as of today’s date, I can’t say that I have. But I want to.
So let me be clear, courageous and honest, and say that I would love to have your help. In any way you would like to give it. And let me also say that I so much want to help you too. Let me present a few ideas below.
♥ How you can help Pen-Pen:
1. You can make a donation to us via Paypal or Venmo. Simply use the email address posted at the end of this blog post.
2. You can purchase a gift for yourself or friend at one of my e-shops, either The Rainbow Farmer or Black Mountain Rainbow. Please leave a message in the note section of your order saying your purchase is to support Pen-Pen.
3. You can send a check or money order directly to Pen-Pen’s vet, with our vet’s name and address (via this link.) But please include in the memo area that it is a donation towards Pen-Pen’s care. Please write “Penny Canine / Aimee Cavenecia, in Ashland Oregon”, so the vet knows it’s for us. She will visit us in two weeks for a follow-up visit and more testing.
4. You can donate an Amazon gift card for Pen-Pen’s probiotics, enzymes and special grain-free/raw foods. She uses Nusentia products, and will need them after being on antibiotics for 2 weeks. To send us a gift card all you need is my email address.
♥ How I would like to help you:
1. I would like to make videos (as I have been wanting to for years!) But I am finally lighting a fire under my butt about it. This month I will be learning to vlog and edit. I will begin to post vlogs on Sunday Is For Lovers in January!
2. I would love to teach you how to meditate. Please contact me if you are interested. I will do it for free or by donation. I’m simply happy to share with you what I know. I studied meditation extensively, you can read more about it via this link and this link.
3. I would like to create a business or career that makes a lasting difference in your life. If you see that I have the potential or talent to provide a service or product for you, please email me your thoughts and suggestions. I would be so excited and grateful to hear what you have to say.
4. I started blogging daily at The Rainbow Farmer blog for a 92 day challenge that I started over a month ago. Instead of stopping at the end of the challenge, I will continue to blog daily for all of 2016! I will be there all week every week, for anyone that wants to connect with me.
If you see or think of anything I am missing or should consider, please let me know. I want to build a community friendship. When I titled this blog post “Best Friend Emergency”, I wasn’t just talking about Pen-Pen. I was talking about us as well — me & you. The readers of Sunday Is For Lovers are like my family. Many of you have been reading my blog posts for years. I’d like to consider us best friends online. I’d like to be close and feel that we are a tight-knit community. My heart broke this week, because of my dog’s situation and also my own disappointment in myself. It was really an emergency for the both of us. I did a lot of soul searching, and now, not only is my dog healing, but I am too.
Thank you for being here. Thank you for reading my blog posts. Thank you for being patient with me. I really want to share more with you and make a greater contribution. I promise you that it will be my life’s work, and I promise you it will be revealed via this blog (and several other projects I will have in the works in 2016.) This blog post is only the beginning. And for Pen-Pen too. She made it through a very challenging time, but she is ready to fully recover and to take on a new year. We are so lucky and so very grateful for another chance.
(If my email address is not visible to you via the image above, you can view it easily via my contact page. Thank you! Xx.)