Everyone wants to indulge their senses, feel fulfilled, and be loved.
People have different ways and different preferences, yet everyone wants affection, loving relationships, intimate relationships, and their daily treats that tickle their senses. They also want to feel fulfilled — to be part of something, to be whole, and to believe that their life is being lived fully & completely. I think if we own up to this, it makes our lives so much easier. It also prevents our lives from dipping into extremes. By this I mean, too little or much much in any of the three areas I mentioned in the first sentence of this blog post.
Overindulging in your senses, constantly looking to be fulfilled, and desperately needing to be loved are examples of being insatiable. Which is all too common these days. What I feel, is that we need a healthy appetite in all three areas, which comes from fully acknowledging them equally, and maintaining a sense of ongoing awareness.
Someone might say,”Hey! Not everyone needs or wants to indulge their senses, and definitely not daily. And not everyone wants an intimate partnership. You can’t generalize in this way. Everyone is different.” Well, the whole point of this blog and this blog post is to share my experiences and my views, and in doing that, raise the level of awareness in myself and in the world. In my experience, EVERYONE likes to indulge their senses, feel fulfilled, and be loved.
Below are a few examples of many. I’m not going to share almost four decades of examples, but I’ll share a measly few, just three.
I know a Buddhist Monk who loves to drink tea and saves the paper tea-bag tags that have inspiring quotes printed on them. He feels bad about this quote collection habit, because he is a renunciant. He doesn’t mind the constant tea drinking, because he only has one meal a day at noon (and it has to be donated to him, he can’t buy it or prepare it for himself, this is part of his vow as a monk in his tradiation). It’s only the saving of tea bag tags that he feels he should curb. He feels bad about it, and plans to work on it. Another thing he loves in abundance is teaching Buddhist philosophy and meditation, and has very close relationships with his students and fellow monks. He lives in a close knit community, which is really great and he loves it, but at the same time, he also wishes he could meditate longer, and be in silence all the time.
My dog cant get enough belly rubs and she hates being alone. She also perks up at any sign of brown rice & beans, or the sight of an almond butter jar. She’ll follow anyone that seems to be walking toward the kitchen (with hopes that they might have her beans or butter). Besides her food favorites, another favorite thing is to snuggle up next to someone, get a few rubs, and then veg on their lap. Sleeping-in is definitely her style. Staying in bed all morning, is the way she likes to start her day. Regardless of this movie-star wannabe habit, she is pushed to go for walks at 7:30AM, despite her preference to stay in bed. After the walk she is usually much more peppy, and ready for breakfast. Another wish I think she has, is to have more dogs in her life. She seems more fulfilled, more empowered, and well-rounded when she is in the presence of other animals and part of a doggie community.
I met someone that doesn’t eat. He dislikes food and most forms of consumerism: shopping, TV, Movies, cars, books — even meals — he does not like consuming. He goes days without eating, and has no desire to indulge in most things. Not even if it’s normal or necessary to partake in them. He’s turned off by almost everything. But, he absolutely adores music, and intense exercise. He says it feeds his soul. The other thing he soaks up, is his relationship to his clients that he coaches. They shower him with love and praise, and he loves being in their company, sharing his knowledge and making a difference in their lives. Another relationship that is very dear to his heart, is his relationship with his girlfriend. He says he is better when he has a partner and feels a missing when he isn’t close to someone. Since he was a young child, he’s always dreamed of having a soulmate.
Be it tea bag tags, staying in bed, soulmates, alcoholic drinks, belly rubs, making love, being creative, loud music, close friends, mid-day naps, strong hugs, evening walks, mugs of coffee, having purpose, interesting books, fresh juices, occasional smokes, online shopping, green gardening, inspiring quotes, feeling challenged, being clean, pin-drop silence, sweet kisses, cups of tea, nite-owl routines, being messy, exercise sessions, heart warming foods, silly shows, early mornings, moments of insight, etc. — we all have our preferences. We all have things tickle our senses, give us feelings of fulfillment, or reassure us that we are loved.
If you find yourself at an extreme in one area; be it overindulging your senses, constantly seeking to be fulfilled, or desperately needing to be loved — see if you can find balance across the board. Taking one of these areas to an extreme might be preventing you from realizing all areas in a balanced way. For example: seeking fulfillment through work to an extreme, can lead to a lack luster love-life with someone you feel deeply connected to. Or, not seeking fulfillment and feeling detached from your work, can lead to overindulging in your senses, to escape the fact that your are unfulfilled.
In my opinion, everything boils down to awareness. Nothing is ever a real problem when we are approaching it with awareness and compassion. Simply watch. Notice where there is lack or excess. Begin to have a bird’e eye view of all three areas that I mentioned: indulging senses, feeling fulfilled, being loved. Treat each area with care and allow all three to be seen. Think of them like your children. No child likes to be snubbed or trashed. Understand that as human beings we are beyond the body, we cosmic creatures. Our spirit is vast. But at the same time, we are rooted in the earth, rooted in humanity. And humans are sensitive. So relish your sensitivity, and feed your soul. Allow your heart to direct you. Listen to your inner being. Find out what tickles your senses, truly fulfills you, makes you feel loved — in a balanced way. Awareness is the first step. Always start there.