Forget “what if?” & what was – Acknowledge “what is!”


Ugh, where do I begin. Let me start off first by saying that it is 12:15am & I am very tired. I’m afraid that if I write something right now it will sound like a sleepy person babbling – & the blog post will be pockmarked with typos. But I’ll do my best!

Last night I was in dance class. I barely made it through the class because I got two huge blood blisters. One on each big toe the size of a silver dollar (that’s exaggerating, more like a quarter). – Then, that same night, in the middle of the night, I hear a BOOM! The sound woke me out of my sleep. I thought a shelving unit fell off of a wall. I checked everywhere I could think of, but everything seemed OK. Then I heard another crashing sound, but this time smaller in size. It had to be in the bedroom near the front door that I had not checked. When I opened the door I saw that a big section of the ceiling crashed to the floor! Dust & sheetrock pieces everywhere! After that I tried my best to go to bed (because it was almost 3am) & not think about it, I knew I had to call my landlord in the morning. But it didn’t work, I couldn’t sleep. Then later that day while on the phone with the landlord I’m told that the supervisor of the building is coming right over to check it out. To make a long story short, the supervisor (after looking at it) said that he didn’t believe me that the ceiling just fell like that. Someone made it happen, someone made it come down (& I may have to pay for the repair, basically the whole ceiling in that room would need to be replaced). – Two hours after that I had to leave for an appointment. (Walking gingerly because I can feel the blisters under my toes.) On my way to the appointment I find out that the subway train I need is not running – at all. (*sigh*) At this point I am really feeling in the dumps. But then something clicks. I have a little conversation with myself;

Big Self: Aimee, you keep thinking about the ceiling falling. When did it fall?
Lil’ self: Late last night.
Big Self: So that would be in the past, right?
Lil’ self: Yes.
Big Self: And if it happened it the past it means it’s not happening right now, right?
Lil’ self: Right.
Big Self: And the other thing you are worried about is having to pay for that ceiling. This would be something that could possibly happen in the future. The future doesn’t exist right now. So that means you are angry or upset about something that doesn’t exist.
Lil’ self: (*sigh*) Ya.
Big Self: So if you get your head out of the past & out of the future, what is happening right now, in the present?
Lil’ self: I’m finally getting on a train that can take me to my appointment to see one of the best massage therapists in the world (in my world that is!).
Big Self: So let’s look at this a little differently then you were before. Instead of focusing on “what if?” or what was, we are going to look at “what is” — You took one of your favorite dance classes & got to hang out with your friends last night. You got a few blisters but now you are fine, they are healing nicely. Part of your ceiling fell in your apartment. The building you live in is 140 years old, so this kind of thing happens, old buildings break down. Good thing the supervisor came immediately over & he is fixing it for you. And thank goodness no one was in the room when it fell – they could have been hurt. So this is very fortunate. Now you are on your way to getting a super-duper massage & therapy for your spine that is going to feel amazing & you finally found a train (after walking 3 blocks to a different station) that can take you there. Lucky you!

After this little conversation with myself everything become light. The day was great. I had much to be thankful for & all was well. It only took a bit of gratitude & awareness to change everything in seconds.

Now if I can only get some much needed sleep & catch-up on a few Zzzzzz…
Tonight I am going to sleep through the night!

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “Forget “what if?” & what was – Acknowledge “what is!”

  1. Good one Aimee, even as tired as you were, you did a great job going through the process of that clarifying moment for you. I feel like I’m taking a valuable technique away from this blog. My daughter is away right now, and I’m having a hard time with it. I thought I’d be able to go on the trip with her or at least talk to her and I haven’t been able to. I haven’t been sleeping well or doing anything well. I know I should be grateful for this time she has to play with her friends and I should be grateful for this time I have to do things that are harder to do when she requires my attention. I’ll be working on that now!

    • That is so beautiful. Thank you for that comment. It brought more light & understanding to the topic. Thank you. :)
      Enjoy every minute of who you are & what life is in all moments.
      It’s perfect – like you. :)

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