Sometimes it’s all too much. Don’t you feel that way? I feel like everyone I know is overloaded with stuff. Stuff can be anything, but it’s mostly desires. Desires past & desires present. I know people with great homes, great jobs, great partners, that were all a part of past desires. But now the enthusiasm for these past desires have been replaced by new desires. And those things, people, or places that were once so important or so exciting, now seem in the way of achieving the new desires. Why do we need so much? Why do we have so much? Why does it take so much to achieve or destroy (get rid of, change, swap) our desires? Do you know anyone selling their property? Or leaving a partnership/relationship? What about changing careers? – I do. And I can tell you right now, it’s a bitch.
I know Buddhists think that being desireless is the path to enlightenment. But I’ll leave that for another blog post. For now let’s just work with the fact that we have desires & to be human & desireless feels pretty damn impossible for some of us. Some might ask, “Isn’t having desires part of being human? Doesn’t having desires make us human? Or is that emotions? Is having emotions what makes us human?” – I can tell you right now that plenty of plants & puppies want & emote. So we are obviously not special in that department. [If you don’t believe that plants have feelings or wants, read The Secret Life of Plants by Peter Tompkins & Christopher Bird.] – So what is it then? Why are we filled with insatiable desire? And why does it cause us to suffer?
I believe that who we are is infinite. And in the words of Buckminster Fuller; who we are is 99% invisible. [“Ninety-nine percent of who you are is invisible and untouchable.” – Buckminster Fuller] I believe that we are creators. So why is this need to constantly create viewed as painful desires instead of plain ol’ creativity? Do you have any idea how many times a sculptor scraps an idea? Or molds one face into another? What about an interior designer? We can only imagine how many times they might change a room. So why is it in a sense effortless for them to be who they are & yet almost painful for us to be who we are? I think it’s not so much the desire that is causing the trouble, but the attachment to it, as well as the meaning we’ve plastered all over it. And if we add impatience on top of it, we have some real suffering (or work) laid out for us. – Let’s go back to that first statement I made about homes, partnerships & careers. How many of those were rushed because the one that wanted them was feeling impatient at the time? They needed them now, or for various reasons felt that it was now or never?
I think we see who we are in this person, place, or thing we want so bad. We want to feel like we know who we are, (& can show who we are), as well as feel in control of who we are, & we don’t want to wait another minute for it! – But what about the creator? The designer, the artist I talked about? If we are just like them (& we are), we should know that we are only the instrument. We are the vessel for creative energy to flow through. – If we think like Michelangelo, if we work to set what we are creating free, isn’t that so much more empowering? [“I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.” – Michelangelo] – Think about it. We are setting this house, this partner, this career we want (or don’t want) free. Creating & destroying (letting go) become equal partners; one helping the other. If we view things in this way, there is no attachment. And why bother with impatience. This thing that we are creating or letting go is its own thing. It happens on its own time. No rush. It’s not ours to give or take, we’re only part of the energy that moves it.
We can exhale. We can give ourselves a much needed break & take all of the pressure off. (*phew*) This mad rush of things in our life or this life of things is just a dance. Let’s step back & enjoy being moved as much as we love to move things. This enormous dance of stuff is part of an even bigger dance. The most magnificent & extraordinary dance you can imagine. – So let’s let go of who is doing what & let’s trust that we are doing it together. We are one & we are all moving. As long as we are movin’ & groovin’ as we set things free (including ourselves), there is nothing to worry about. The more we feel in alignment, the less stuff we will need or feel burdened by. – I write these things not because I do them effortlessly, but because I don’t. I had the craziest week this week. Full of push & pull, unnecessary thinking, & heels stuck firmly in the ground. I definitely wasn’t dancing, & if I felt moved it was moved to tears. I had to step back & see what there was to see. This blog post is me taking another look & sharing the view. (*smiling*) I feel so much better now. I can let go & enjoy the dance.
[The illustration in an ayahuasca painting by Gregg Echols. The title is Halftime at the Cosmic Dance.]