My art (my work) has blended into my life — or should I say my work is my life? I’m having trouble these days separating the two. And why should I? Why should I work just for money? Why should I live for the weekends? I have stayed independent through the years so that I can be free. That was a lot of work on my part. Why am I not using it to my advantage?
What I’m dealing with these days is I no longer want to do work that isn’t ideal for my health (or the planet’s health, same thing.) I also want to get paid to do things I would be doing anyway. What I do in my personal life is my business, right? Then why not literally make it my business?
This has been challenging because I love doing so many things. And I’m not sure what they have to do with each other, or if they could generate money and become an actual business. Sometimes I think this matters and sometimes I don’t. At times I feel conflicted. In general I do feel that I live between two worlds; one physical and one spiritual. But of course I should — I’m both. How silly of me to think otherwise! It’s only the rational mind that makes this balance difficult.
Day after day, what are we here for? To have fun, to make love, to make money? I hope not! Because even when I have all of these, it’s not enough. I hope for seeing and feeling right now more than anything. To feel and to really ‘see.’ I want to connect directly with all that I do and with all whom I meet. I want to do this in a meaningful lasting way. In a way that serves our highest selves, forever. So basically this would be a physical connection that becomes spiritual (unchanging), or vice versa. To work with the physical (the temporary) in a spiritual way. This is my current challenge. And I’m certain that I’m over thinking it and that the solution for me is not only simple, but is staring me directly in the face! But just like my friend Sisyphus rolling a rock to the top of a mountain, I will find my work when I find my rhythm. When I can be present to each step as if it is the destination. This I believe is an ongoing task. Truly being (myself) is why I’m here. Sharing that with others is my work. It’s what I love to do.