Well, it’s summer now & it’s time to wrap up the Hot, Raw & RICH! challenge. Like  Therese De Wolf, lots of stuff came up that got in the way. This always happens when someone has plans. The most important thing is to stick it through. It wouldn’t be a challenge if it were easy! The e-mail below sums up where I’m at. It was written mid challenge.

From: AimeeLovesYou
To: XXXX
Subject: Grateful
Date: May 29, 2009 1:35 PM

I’m gratful that I am still here!

I can’t believe it. I stopped working in December 2007! It’s now almost frickin’ summer 2009! Yes I have debt, yes new obstacles (challenges) have come up, yes I’m still behind on things I thought I would be WAY further along on. -BUT! I’m still here god dammit! I’m still following my dreams, I’m still giving it a shot, I’m still moving forward. I have money in the bank, I have support, I have health, I have LOVE, I have friends, what more do I need? I am living proof that things will never be ‘perfect’ but YOU CAN follow your dreams. Who cares what the dreams are, the fun part is following them! I’m grateful that I am still here, still here following my dreams.

Xx..
A.

It truly blows my mind that I have everything I need. I live my life my way and I still live as well as others that live for Friday & spend all of their time working at a job they do not love. It basically means the sun shines on us equally. (No matter what we do.) But does it shine on the inside equally? That part is up to us. Also, what we do with what we are given is very important. It will rain, it will shine, but it’s up to us to make the most of it. -Inside & out. I’m really getting this little by little. It sounds simple, but it’s not. It takes a lot of faith and a greater understanding of the whole.

Here is where I stand on the following;

Work- Daily work on creative projects that are important to me.
I let go of past artworks (literally), past ideas about what it means to be an artist, & past methods of making a living. I got support. Two people are now working with me. This is helping a great deal. I’m always more motivated when I’m working with others. I eliminated one blog (that was in the works) & got more focused. I’m currently purging the last bit of old art studio equipment & making room for the new ideas I have.

Diet- Daily 100% raw vegan meals (mostly 80/10/10 style, lots of fruit and mono-meals) and drinking water as a priority.
I wouldn’t say I have been 100% raw vegan during this challenge. I might say I’ve been 100% -90% of the time. I did eat lots of mono-meals (mostly breakfast, sometimes lunch) & I did make a habit of drinking plenty of water daily. I have been a cleaner eater since starting the HR&R challenge. I’ve learned more about eating fruit & food combining. My system is working much better now. (-like clockwork *wink*) I’ve also met new friends that are fruitarian or 80/10/10 & thriving. I’m grateful for my food blog. It has kept me on track. I can always review the months or weeks past & see what my patterns have been. It’s been a joy for me to record everything I eat & to share it with others. This week I will post where my diet is headed next.

Exercise- Daily vigorous movement, as much as 1-3 hours (in total).
The thread that I started on 30 Bananas-a-Day has helped me with this. There were so many days that I didn’t feel like exercising, but since I had to post daily what I was doing (sometimes announcing it before it was done), I had to do it. Or at least do something. I also teamed up with friends for a park run or a yoga class weekly. This was also very helpful. I am so clear that community & support are the keys to success. I perform much better when I am in the company of others. I am going to continue to post my exercise daily.

Spirit- Daily moments of allowing and flowing.
I’m getting much better at this. I’ve felt so much more peace lately. There was one (or two) weeks were I was emotionally all over the place. But for the most part I’ve been balanced. This summer I am looking into taking a few workshops in Lily Dale, New York. I feel like I need some inspiration & guidance on tuning into spirit. I know there is another level that is at my finger tips. I just can’t reach it yet. But I am working towards it.

Education- I have so many books I am dying to read right now. Most of the books are health related or discuss the creative process.
I did really well with this in the first few months. Last month I didn’t read as much as I wanted to. But now I’m missing it & would like to catch up on my reading. I’m planning a trip to Chicago. I have a feeling I will be doing lots of reading there. I’m very excited about this.

And that all folks. It’s a wrap.

..Of course you know that I am planning another challenge for myself. What would my life be like without them? Not as silly as it is now. -I love it!

“Every choice we make, every thought and feeling we have, is an act of power that has biological, environmental, social, personal, and global consequences.” – Anatomy of the Spirit, by Caroline Myss, PH.D.

Thinking about Michael Jackson’s death & life is bringing me closer to my own. I can’t help but think how much he hated himself. The addictions & plastic surgery do not in my opinion come from a place of self-love. I think all of us can relate to addictions & obsessions. Life is really interesting. If unconditional love is our number one priority it could relieve us (& others) of so much suffering. Instead many of us focus on security (romantic relationships, money, homes, pets, career, etc.) and other temporary illusions. I say illusions because they are not permanent, yet we take them so seriously. We put or sense of self in them as if we could own them, or rely on them. You can take love with you wherever you go. You can also take it with you for the rest of your life and maybe beyond. Anything in form (people, money, things) will not last. There is no security in something that will not last. Love can last.

Love for yourself can last. If we cultivate it. If we focused on it as much as we do material things we would be rich! Rich in love. Wow, how wonderful does that sound? Looking at a picture of Michael as a boy & looking at his picture as an adult gives me such respect for him. How beautiful & strong he is in both pictures. Granted, the more recent (artist’s rendition) picture posted in this blog post is a little scary, maybe ‘different’ is a better word. I only say scary because he is so drastically different looking then his natural born self. But it is perfect. Perfect in whatever it needed to be at that time, and it is beautiful. I am working on loving where I am in various stages of my life. It’s hard. Sometimes I look at my old pictures or read my old writing and cringe. Did I look like that? Did I feel like that? Was I doing that? Then I have to own it, love it and say, “Yea, I did, and now I’m doing something else, but I’m still the same person that did that. Gotta love it all.” Who can say that loving yourself is easy? Who can say they don’t hide behind a mask? Who can say they take full responsibility for the way they & their life looks? Not many. So I definitely try not to judge him. I send him my love wherever he is. I thank him for being a reminder & for leaving his art behind for us all to enjoy. I hope to do the same one day.

We are simulating our happiness (or unhappiness). At every moment we have the power to synthesis feeling fantastic. It’s so easy to feed into society’s programmed view of what happiness is. It’s not natural happiness even though we think it is. It’s filled with comparisons and ‘what ifs’. It’s filled with fear. Dan Gilbert has an excellent video called, “Why are we happy? Why aren’t we happy?” In the video Dan states the following, “Which would you rather, win the lottery or become paraplegic? Which future would make you happier? -Neither! After one year both are equally happy.”  Watch the video, it’s excellent. A definite reminder that we create our lives. We choose to be happy or unhappy. It has very little to do with what’s happening outside of ourselves.

Tom Hulce plays Mozart in Amadeus

Have you gotten one of those silly questionnaire e-mails?
Below is my reply to the one I received this week…

From: AimeeLovesYou
To: XXXX
Subject: Re: Getting to know you
Date: Jun 10, 2009 5:33 PM

1. What is your occupation right now? Artist.
2. What color are your socks right now? Bare skin.
3. What are you listening to right now? Plane flying above.
4. What was the last thing that you ate? Banana smoothie.
5. Can you drive a stick shift? No.
6. Last person you spoke to on the phone? XXXX.
7. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Of course.
8. How old are you today? 34.
9. What is your favorite sport to watch on TV? X-Games. (-Tricks on bikes or skateboards.)
10. What is your favorite drink? Water. (-Seriously.)
11. Have you ever dyed your hair? Yes, disaster.
12. Favorite food? Persimmons.
13. Favorite day of the year? I like January 1st, it’s quite, party’s over.
14. Cherries or Blueberries? Tough one, blueberries because they are pit-less, but not as sexy as cherries.
15 .What is your favorite season? Fall, but I love spring too.
16. When was the last time you cried? Sunday. (-Only a little, all dried out from crying Wednesday, Thursday, Friday,.. -I’m serious.)
17. What did you do last night? Went to hot yoga with XXXX at 8pm, got home late.
18. What is your favorite Movie? Amadeus.
19. Favorite animal? None. (-I’m not an animal person, but I like seeing animals in action, cheetahs running, birds flying, etc.. -Side note: I don’t like the idea of animals as ‘pets’. Sometimes I want one though. I want a black pug.)
20. Favorite day of the week? Monday. (-I get to start over.)
21. How many states have you lived in? 3.
22. Diamonds or Pearls? Beads.
23. What is your favorite flower? Oriental Lily.

Below are a two of my (old) reply e-mails sent to friends. I thought of them today because I had a tough week. Definitely not the best week ever. At this point I feel like putting the whole week in the trash and starting all over again. Of course I know this is silly thinking. I also know that I am projecting my week. These e-mail replies speak to the fact that we have so much say in our ease, in our well being and in what we see in our lives. I forget that sometimes and this week was a reminder for me. It was a wake up call telling me that I am not creating powerfully and I am looking at life (or the circumstances of this week) through narrow vision. I promise you, tonight I’m having fun. I am now fully aware, fully present and totally inspired to be create and reflect a sweet experience. One that I love, that I find inspiring, that I can share. What feels better than that? I’m all over it! I’ll keep you posted…

From: AimeeLovesYou
To: XXXX
Subject: Re: XXXX
Date: Apr 7, 2009 10:43 PM

I’m still finding ways to answer that question. But here is what I have so far…

Well… I’m doing less. That is the first thing. For years I have been a ‘doer’ (and pusher). Forcing things to happen within every square inch and minute of the day. Stressing over things, trying to be ‘more’. Working hard to be better and faster. Now I am slowing down and trusting more. Last year was really difficult. I was fighting myself. This year I am getting better at it because I can see results. It’s like swimming. Work harder to swim and not only do you exhaust yourself, but you sink! If you g-l-i-d-e, if you work with the water, if you choose your strokes and movements wisely, you get very far. Much farther than if you move your arms and legs like a maniac! So I’m trusting the water (life) will hold me, I’m allowing it to support me, and I’m being the water (life). I don’t have a life, ..I am life! I’m not swimming in the water, I am water! Thinking like this is helping me to give my feminine side the respect and space it deserves. I think this is why my art career never felt quite there, or quite right. The spiritual side was missing. Reverence for the process was missing. It was solely focused on tangible results. The bigger the project the better, the bigger the money, the better. How I felt or what I experienced was never asked about. It was never a concern and it was never considered important. Now I am finding balance in the two, or should I say three? Being – doing – having.

I love that you are so happy. It makes me happy.

XoXo..
A.

————————————————————————

From: AimeeLovesYou
To: XXXX
Subject: Everything is a Mirror 
Date: Apr 17, 2009 4:58 PM

Yes, it happens with anything that you are more aware of.

If someone gets into bikes, they see more bike stuff. When I was making a whale [sculpture], I saw whales everywhere. I’m attracted to the number 22, always have been, and when I look at the clock, it’s always 2:22, or 11:22, etc.. I know I see it because I’m more aware. I don’t think of the number 14, so when I see it there’s no awareness, it’s like I don’t see it. It never ‘clicks’.

When you develop an ‘all awareness’, an all seeing/relating awareness, you are ONE or connected with all, so you really ’see’ or notice, everything and it ‘clicks’. That is why people like Eckhart Tolle (or monks, etc.) are so brilliant, not that he is any smarter or better than me, it’s that he is more ‘aware’ than me. That is why he suffers less than I do. That is why he is more successful than I am. He can get out of the way, out of his own line of sight and move through life with ease. No struggle, no conflict, just grace. The harmonious spirit inside reflects on the outside. Everything is a mirror.

Life is beautiful.

Xo,
A.

I’m a huge fan of the blog The Sartorialist‘. You have no idea how happy I was when Maria Kerner said this line in her interview with Scott Schuman, “Some people get crazy about alcohol, but I’m crazy about fruit! Fresh squeezed juice is all I need to be happy and healthy – and I’m able to drink more than a really good professional alcoholic drinker could!“. I couldn’t agree more and I can’t wait for raw fruit & vegetable drinking to become as trendy as alcohol. I would love to be able to go out with friends and order cucumber juice straight-up or a fancy basil-mango drink on the rocks. It sounds way better than the hang-over and puffy eyes I’ll get from wine, liqueur and beer. Natural foods are so much sexier than processed foods. They look and taste sexier -and- they make YOU look and taste sexier! The only thing that makes processed foods trendy and desirable is the marketing. Let’s start a new trend and bring nature back in fashion. Fruit is the new black.

I just wanted to give you all a little update on my ‘Hot, Raw & RICH!’ blog post challenge. It’s 100 days of new habits that bring about a shinier, healthier and more fruitful me. It started at the end of March 2009 and it was inspired by Therese De Wolf’s Raw, Hot & Rich Experiment.

A lot has happened since March. I found out that some serious corrections need to be made to the shape of my spine after I was in bed for a month with a bad back. Below is an update on where I stand now on the following areas;

My ”Hot, Raw & Rich!” 100 day challenge…

Work- (Daily work on creative projects that are important to me.) Hmmm… well, I wouldn’t say daily, but almost everyday. Mostly me getting to know how to be a better blogger/multi-media artist and creating space for that. Getting to the bottom of what I really want to do, than releasing some of my old work methods. This area still needs more dedication and focus.

Diet- (Daily 100% raw vegan meals. Mostly 80/10/10 style, lots of fruit &  mono-meals. And drinking water as a priority.) This has been pretty good. When I was out with a bad back I ate pretty well. Mostly lots of citrus in bed. After that I went through a wave of high fat raw and now I’m back to mostly fruits again. I just finished a 2 week fruity cleanse. You can read about it on my Nasty Fruit blog. I’m really enjoying this part of the challenge. I’m such a fruitaphile at heart, so it’s my pleasure.

Exercise- (Daily vigorous movement, as much as 1-3 hours, in total). -Eeek, this kinda’ went out the window when I injured my back. But since then I’ve been working back up to it. My running and yoga classes are now back in the picture. I needed some support in this area so I started a support thread on ‘30 Bananas a Day’. Feel free to join in on my exercise thread. It’s fun!

Spirit- (Daily moments of allowing and flowing.) I’ve made the most progress in this area. I actually consider this one the most important. I believe it’s the hardest to develop. My back going out and new medical bills coming in definitely helped me to ‘be easy’ about it all. It’s such a habit for humans to get wrapped up in drama. It’s so exciting. But I didn’t play into it. I had a few (well, more than a few) moments of, “Oh sh*t! What am I going to do? What if this gets worse?”. Then I got back to what was next and kept things moving. Things are now flowing and I’m doing well. I’m loving the chiropractic treatment I’m getting and I’m loving that these new medical bills are ‘upping’ my game and making it harder. Learning how to be abundance and to be at ease no matter what you think is going on.

Education- (I have so many books I am dying to read right now.) I’ve read quite a few. The box cleared out fast, but then my neighboor gave me a shopping bag of excellent books. So now the book box is full again. Some of the books I read in May are; ‘Mastering Life’s Energies’, ‘The Power of Less’, ‘The Yoga of Nutrition’, ‘Art & Fear’, ‘The Same River Twice: Honoring the Difficult’ and ‘Let My  People go Surfing: The Education of a Reluctant Business Man’.

My updates on Twitter- Well. This too went south. It happened the same time as my back trouble. My back and Twitter account stopped working on and off, then all together. Both completely shut down. My account had robots or bugs, something I know nothing about. I’m not yet the ‘techy’ girl I desire to be. I made a blog post about the situation. Things are excellent now. I’m back on Twitter and everything is working smoothly. 

My feelings on being abundance- Last night I was in a cafe for hours writing about this topic and thinking about my life. On my final follow up for this challenge (in July) I will put everything I learned (and wrote at the cafe that night) together. At the moment it looks like scribble in my journal, doodles in my head and silly challenges on the internet. In July it will look like lessons learned and insights shared. Or at least I hope it will. We will see…. 

If you are really open, it comes easy. What comes easy? Love. When you are really open to it all, open to giving and receiving without fear, it’s effortless. What’s effortless? Love.

I am so grateful for my life, for this life that is full of infinite possibilities. Why should I ever see the cup as half full? I see whatever I want to see. I am always creating my own experience. Lately I have been following my heart instead of making things happen. I’ve been following and trusting my heart and being open to what happens. And what’s been happening is miraculous. Life has been so full of magic and beauty. So full of peace and abundance. So full of LOVE. I’m grateful.

Take a moment to watch this video by Wayne Dyer. He is definitely open and full of gratitude. I’m thankful for his work. This Anthony Robbins interview with Wayne Dyer  is excellent too.

I just saw the movie ‘Objectified’. As I was watching it I was thinking to myself, “When are they going to get to the waste part? Is the director going to address sustainability? Most of this ‘brilliant’ design ends up as junk, as last year’s ‘it’ technology. High tech plastic furniture and accessories, mobile phones, computers, etc., all ends up in landfills.” Towards the end the movie did discuss a bit about it. I was pleased they made an effort to include it. As I left the theater I felt like designers have a big responsibilty, and I myself as an artist is starting to take that responsibility more seriously. Thoughts of the movie were still floating around in my head as the evening progressed. When I got home I had a few mangos for dinner. As I was eating them I was thinking, “This mango is designed perfectly. It comes in a beautifully colored sleek biodegradable package (the skin). You don’t need tools to open it, only your hands. It tastes amazing and it has amazing health benefits. After you’re done with it you can use the seed to grow more mangos for years!” Is that brilliant design or what?! Zero harmful waste and if you  like you can use the waste to produce more of what you’ve just consumed! Please, brilliant minds of the world, top designers, let’s follow nature’s lead. All of our answers are there. Let’s look around us.

“I have no illusions about who I am and how old I am—but that has nothing to do with it when I’m in that studio or on that stage and that thing is coming out of me. That fire is just as bright and hot as when I was 23. I and the song are one—and whatever I was meant to do with my music, I’m doing it.”

Photo by Jim Marshall

I just got home from seeing a really sweet film. It’s called, ‘Throw Down Your Heart‘. Please see it if it’s in your neighborhood. It brought back so many memories of Africa. I miss being there. I miss all whom I fell in love with. Africa is such a sweet place. My heart will always live there. I will go there again to visit it. Soon, soon…

All I can say is UGH!!! How annoying.  For the past several weeks, definitely off and on for over a month my AimeeLovesYou Twitter account has been ‘Out of Service’. I haven’t been able to access it. If anyone has tried to contact me through it I’m so sorry for the confusion. Twitter technicians have been trying to fix it. I’m not sure when they will have it up and running again. Until then, hang-on I’ll be back up with new tweets as soon as I can. Thanks for being patient with me.

UPDATE: April 30th, 2009, I think it’s working again! It’s back on today! Xo..
UPDATE: May 3rd, 2009, Nope, it’s not working again, but it was for a bit. Twitter techs are sorting it out. I will continue to keep you posted..
UPDATE: May 25th, 2009. It’s back on now!

Several weeks ago I finally got around to putting more plants in my bedroom. The plan was to increase oxygen and purify the air. Spending approximately 8 hours a night 365 days a year sleeping is quite a bit of time. -It’s a lot! I also spend time doing other things as well and it all adds up to more hours than I care to count. All of this in one room! Plus, spending most of the colder months with windows closed doesn’t help the situation. My plan was to turn my bedroom into a plant party. To bring nature indoors. I used two sources to choose my plants. One was from a Feng Shui Book that I was reading, the other was from a TED video. I bought as many plants as I could. They look great in my bedroom. I’m loving it. The benefits of doing this were greater than I anticipated. Not only do I feel like the room is more ‘alive’, I feel calmer when I see so much green. I wake up feeling closer to nature and fall asleep more relaxed. If you live in a big city like I do, I think this is a must do. As pollution increases for all of us, (big city and small city dwellers) we definitely need to take responsibility for our own clean air. Your health is always your responsibility. It is your most valuable asset. You must protect it and make it your number one priority. Have fun and make things beautiful while doing it. It will serve you well.

Artwork by Alessandro Pautasso

[This is an e-mail I sent to a goal group I started about 6 or 7 years ago. I'm losing count now because the years seem to be flying by. This group has been so awesome. I never lose track of what I am about, what I'm working on or what I'm committed to, because every month they meet with me, and every month I am reminded. -It's great.]

To: XXXX
Subject: Love Check-in
Date: Dec 16, 2008

I love you. I am so happy to have this group, (and your friendship in my life). I do know that it lights me up and reminds me of why it started in the first place. It started because I was tired of playing small. Tired of being tired. Tired of breaking promises to myself. Tired of not testing the limits and playing safe. Tired of not loving me (and everyone else) in (their) my uniqueness. Sending the both of you the most life afirming confirmation that you-are-Love! That you can have it all, that you are beautiful, that you are whole (and holy), that you are perfect and are capable of exceding your highest goals. -Now take on the day!

LOVE,
A.

[This is an e-mail I sent to a friend .]

To: XXXX
Subject: Give Thanks
Date: Feb 9, 2009 

Give thanks and praise for beautiful sounds that ‘awaken’ you.

Another day of feeling ‘out of sorts’. I felt a little overwhelmed and under loved today. Basically a bunch of stuff/emotions/people/ideas all jumbled up in my head. I almost didn’t go to yoga class because I felt ‘out of it’. I didn’t want to face myself in the mirror almost naked for 90 minutes. (In Bikram the walls are mirrored and most wear bathing suits, and you must look at yourself as you practice.) But I went. I knew I would feel worse if I stayed home. During class I was sweating like crazy. In one pose I was dripping sweat so loudly that it sounded like rain. The sound woke me up! Before that I was going from pose to pose in a fog of thoughts and stress. All of a sudden, I heard the sound of water drops falling and it brought me back to India! I had a flash back of being in a huge stone ashram seated on the floor. This ashram had no walls. Only a roof with big columns all around. I would go there everyday, (back in 2001), 2-3 times a day to meditate. When it rained, you could hear it like it was right next to you. It was the same sound I heard in yoga class today. Drops of water falling right next to me. It was a BEAUTIFUL sound. It brought me to my true self again. It pulled me out of the ego. Out of petty problems and back to my spirit. Back to who I really am. Back to what is really important. What is important is what is PERMANENT. The spirit, the love, the peace, the joy, the unchanging priceless feelings in life. They are in us at all times. Sometimes we need to quiet the mind and ego to hear/feel/see them. I’m grateful I was able to hear/feel/see it today.

Xo,
A.

Videos [link, link and more links] of  inflatable street by Joshua Allen Harris are so entertaining. I’m kinda mesmerized as I watch them. I love the idea that much has been created with very little. This is definitely the direction the entire world must head in; lighter building materials that are easy to transport, using local resources creatively and engaging your community. -Let’s do it!

“I was not looking for my dreams to interpret my life, but rather for my life to interpret my dreams.” 

Susan Sontag photo by Peter Hujar

[An email I sent to a friend.]

To: XXXX
Subject: Happiness
Date: Jan 14, 2009 11:29 PM

Well, I see Buddha nature in many ways…
I see the laughing buddha, and I see the buddha that has slightly turned up lips, not smiling, and not-not smiling.

You can laugh at everything out of awareness, healthy detachment and the capability to see the ‘bigger picture‘. That doesn’t mean you are super happy, or not happy. You just are. And you can have fun in that.

I would say the not needing to be in any state is the state we should be in. That sounds funny, but you know what I mean. Just being with what is, in all of it’s beauty. Not needing anything else.

The more we see everything as energy, the more ‘lit up’ we become. That’s what I think. ..What do you think?..

Xo!
-A.

[An e-mail I sent to a friend.]

To: XXXX
Subject: GIVE THANKS..
Date: Feb 4, 2009 11:35 AM

Give thanks for another opportunity. I may have said this before, I will say it again cause I am really feeling it right now. Yay for another day, another moment, a new beginning. I feel so blessed to be able to choose again. So lucky. So grateful.

Sometimes my past haunts me, sometimes I go back to stupid ways, sometimes I feel like giving up, then I get another chance to choose again. To be myself in a whole new way. Not fragmented me, not pieced together from the past me, new whole me in this moment, in this choice.

So thankful.
-A.

Photo by Saseki