Thinking about Michael Jackson’s death & life is bringing me closer to my own. I can’t help but think how much he hated himself. The addictions & plastic surgery do not in my opinion come from a place of self-love. I think all of us can relate to addictions & obsessions. Life is really interesting. If unconditional love is our number one priority it could relieve us (& others) of so much suffering. Instead many of us focus on security (romantic relationships, money, homes, pets, career, etc.) and other temporary illusions. I say illusions because they are not permanent, yet we take them so seriously. We put or sense of self in them as if we could own them, or rely on them. You can take love with you wherever you go. You can also take it with you for the rest of your life and maybe beyond. Anything in form (people, money, things) will not last. There is no security in something that will not last. Love can last.
Love for yourself can last. If we cultivate it. If we focused on it as much as we do material things we would be rich! Rich in love. Wow, how wonderful does that sound? Looking at a picture of Michael as a boy & looking at his picture as an adult gives me such respect for him. How beautiful & strong he is in both pictures. Granted, the more recent (artist’s rendition) picture posted in this blog post is a little scary, maybe ‘different’ is a better word. I only say scary because he is so drastically different looking then his natural born self. But it is perfect. Perfect in whatever it needed to be at that time, and it is beautiful. I am working on loving where I am in various stages of my life. It’s hard. Sometimes I look at my old pictures or read my old writing and cringe. Did I look like that? Did I feel like that? Was I doing that? Then I have to own it, love it and say, “Yea, I did, and now I’m doing something else, but I’m still the same person that did that. Gotta love it all.” Who can say that loving yourself is easy? Who can say they don’t hide behind a mask? Who can say they take full responsibility for the way they & their life looks? Not many. So I definitely try not to judge him. I send him my love wherever he is. I thank him for being a reminder & for leaving his art behind for us all to enjoy. I hope to do the same one day.
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